Nine American teens who were found guilty of vandalizing a veterans park have been sentenced to watching “Saving Private Ryan”. But wait, isn’t there something about enforced exposure to Spielberg in the Geneva Convention? No? Well, darn it, there ought to be.

Everyone else has a website, so why not Ben Chapman, the man behind the gills in “The Creature from the Black Lagoon”? Mr. Chapman uses his site to answer fans’ questions, sell his autograph, and explain that he’s actually not dead yet.

“Detectives could soon be able to catch murderers by “reading” the recent memories of their victims, it was predicted yesterday.” What the article neglects to mention until the final paragraphs is that the same group also predicted that families would soon be replaced with “self-centred, self-indulgent, hedonistic psychologies.” Oh yeah, someone’s been hitting the Phillip K. Dick a little too hard lately..

Book Notes: Posh Spice has dropped her lawsuit against a new tell-all book by Andrew Morton. I love a good trashy British biography, and Morton is an expert at spinning tales of woe and induced vomiting.

Make every day a Sunday with the Do-It-Yourself Pope!

Stop — back away from the bagpipes! New research has shown that bagpipes are breeding grounds for the bacteria that causes the sinister (and well-named) “Bagpipers’ Disease”. (Pith and Vinegar: We have the medical news you won’t find anywhere else.)

Oh. My. God. I’ve finally found plans for making your own macrame owl. Kitch City, here I come.

It’s Reader Response Day at Pith: To the poor fellow who’s email I lost almost immediately after opening, the desktop cam widget is available at Virtual Agent, and I also think it’s kinda groovy. A mention is also due to the anonymous person who informed me that the pie thrown at Jean Chretien was in fact merely a pan filled with whipped cream. While I’m sure there were practical reasons for the lack of filling, I’m rather disappointed — next time I find myself planning to pie a national leader, I’m going to remember to handmake something tasty, for that personal, “I-really-care” touch (Ottawa Cream pie, anyone?).

Anyway, for you folks who are scared of little tiny feedback boxes, keep in mind that all questions, comments, and declarations of undying adoration (Thanks, Mom!) can be sent to jess@pocketgeek.com.

I’ve been musing over some ideas for a domain buying binge I hope to go on in the near future. While a few good ones are still available, sadly someone beat me to both iJess.com and eJess.com (although neither seems to be put to use). My dreams of becomming an e-weblog solution have been crushed.

Do you have some extra cash and a vaguely disturbing fondness for reality television? You could join the campaign to send Survivor’s Kelly a buck, but personally I’d be more inclined to save my hard-earned dollars for the Big Brother Plane Banner Project, which is hoping to confuse the houseguests with another cryptic message (I voted for “Ask George about the guy he killed!”). We’ll make that darned show interesting yet.

As stolen from wetlog (who himself lifted it from other sources), it’s The 50 Least Influentiual Movies of All Time. All the choices are perfect, plus the list gets massive bonus points for reminding me of “Rock On” by Michael Damien (from the Dream a Little Dream soundtrack) — of course, “Rock On” should really be immediately followed by “Cry Little Sister” from Lost Boys for the full Corey Haim 80′s Musical Experience. (And yes, I did actually put both songs on xDrive for you to download and, umm, ‘enjoy’.. I just can’t keep all the Monday morning crap-pop fun to myself.)

For various and sundry reasons I’ve been reading up on intranets lately, and just on the off chance that someone is currently doing the same I should mention that Intranet Design Magazine is worth a quick look. (Recommendations of other intranet resources would be greatly appreciated!)