Archive for January, 2003

Jan 31 2003

Ah, game shows. Whether you can name all the rivers of the world, have quick reflexes, can spell, or even just accuratly guess the price of a bottle of car wax, there is a game show for each and every one of us out there. So it begs the question: could a person live off game shows alone? Certainly people have managed to reach a single glorious victory that means they can probably take a few years off, and perhaps never have to work again, as shown by this list of everyone who’s ever won a single prize of over US$100,000. But in my research (yes, I probably should get out of the house more) I could only find one person who is generally accepted as a professional game show contestant: Leszek Pawlowicz, who is interviewed near the end of this 20/20 transcript. He’s won all of Ben Stein’s money, the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions, and then went on to take some poor online trivia start-up for a grand prize of one million dollars. I both hate and want to be this man.

So what are the rest of us to do? Watch game shows, of course, (starting with The Game Show Page’s list of the Best of 2002) and plan for that big day when we’ll be able to spin the wheel, vote ‘friend’ or ‘foe’, or say those magic words, “I’ll make it a true Daily Double, Alex.” Good luck!

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Jan 29 2003

Sorry for the late appearance this week, but this wedding planning thing (aaaahhhhhh!) is turning out to be a wee bit time consuming. Also, for some reason I have devolved into one of those people who watch twenty zillion hours of poorly made and financed reality television. Oddly enough, I think it’s an escape from reality, but thank god 24 and Buffy come back next week so I can finally start watching fictional political and fantasy dramas again like all right thinking people.

In the meantime, Washington State Initiative I-831 is providing me with much cruel amusement: “Be it resolved that the citizens of the state of Washington do hereby proclaim that Tim Eyman is a Horse’s Ass!” Ha!

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Jan 29 2003

Now people in the UK can have the world’s only inflatable church at their demand. Delcare instant sanctuary! Hold an impromptu wedding! Fill it up with plastic balls and experience bouncy, air-filled spiritual guidance for the whole family! What a great time to be alive.

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Jan 29 2003

Flabbergasted Canadian newscaster, directly after George W. Bush’s State of the Union speech: “Uhhhh. Did he just say that Americans are God’s gift to humanity?”

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Jan 20 2003

Fellow fans of horribly dark depressing movies may have noticed that the Two Towers trailer features music from Requiem for a Dream (also used more effectly during the climax of One Hour Photo). As it turns out, Clint Mansell, the composer who wrote the piece for Requiem reorchestrated it expressly for the Two Towers ads. All well and good, but now the trailer just reminds me of the end of Requiem where Jennifer Connelly.. um.. well, if you’ve seen it, you know. If you haven’t seen it, you don’t want to know.

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Jan 20 2003

Bathe With Jesus: “In most cases Jesus will be available and eager to speak to you about spirituality if desired. If you are not spiritual, Jesus will share a beer and pleasant existential banter.” (from the Betty Fnord Clinic)

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Jan 20 2003

A few musings on last night’s Golden Globes:

- Joan was at her pre-show best, insulting absent stars, getting everyone’s name wrong, and asking Jennifer Garner if she “worked out”. (Duh, Joan! Geeze.)

- Was Colin Farrell grown by a studio or something? All of a sudden the guy seems everywhere.

- Dear Adrien Brody: for the love of god, eat something.

- Here’s a Hollywood riddle: If Harvey Weinstein and Miramax stopped producing movies, would there even be an awards show?

- I kinda liked the tutu.

Oh, and for the record, my new secret celebrity boyfriend is Sam Rockwell. Woof!

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Jan 20 2003

It only took two years.. but Curb Your Enthusiasm will finally be seen in Canada starting February 12.

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Jan 16 2003

So ABC made their mid-season changes announcement, and some of their new shows include putting annoying C-list celebrities in the Australian desert (buh bye, Melissa Rivers), holding a search for the perfect “All-American Girl” who will apparently “become the most celebrated girl in the United States” (watch out, J.Lo!), and my personal favourite, “Are You Hot: The Search for America’s Sexiest People”, which sounds like they’ve actually come up with a way to have a talent show with even less talented people than those goobers on American Idol.

I’m pretty sure that media satire died the day Celebrity Boxing debuted, but this lineup is just another nail in the coffin.

Update: I just found out that last night there was a television show on FOX that featured a man and a Kodiac bear in a hotdog eating competition. I have to go live in a cabin in the woods now.

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Jan 16 2003

Here’s an electronics kit for making a KITT scanner like the one on the front grill in Knight Rider. Whooshing sounds are not included, I assume.

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Jan 16 2003

Sure, classical art is nice and all that, but wouldn’t it be nicer to have classical art with your cat’s head painted onto it?

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Jan 15 2003

Cannes: a Festival Virgin’s Guide. (French Riviera+International Cinema)*mindboggling spectacle = Jessica’s Dream Vacation.

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