To follow up on Friday’s post: 10 Reasons Why Wesley Willis Was Cool

The Gender Genie, which analyses writing samples to determine gender, is quite positive that I’m male. I thought it might be the subject matter affecting the results so I ran a sample from the lovely new redesigned Pop Culture Junk Mail, but the Genie correctly identified the author as female. Further investigation showed that the Genie wasn’t stumped by the samples I gave it from either Betty Friedan or Phylis Schlafly. I don’t really have a point, except apparently I write like a boy.

“You wanna be elite? You gotta do a righteous hack.” Oh, man, I love the 1995 movie Hackers so much it makes me squeal. It’s so completely ludicrous: kids with cool clothes and aparently no parents skateboard around and do battle with their 28k modems against wacky viruses that sing. Anyway, here’s a l33t review of the movie that looks like it was written by Jeff K, and a good comparison of the technology shown in Hackers, Sneakers, and War Games. (Although they’re missing the point .. no one watches Hackers for the technological authenticity. No one.)

My fellow Canadians, I’ve lamented before about the fact that we get little or no access to most of the groundbreaking American television shows from the last five years (Sopranos, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, The Osbournes, Project Greenlight, etc etc). So after having had the opporunity to watch some U.S. telelvision this weekend, I have only five words for you: Aqua Teen Hunger Force, yo. Damn you, American television and your highly amusing satircal cartoonists!

new 19-year old employee: My printer isn’t responding.. [smacks it] Oh! It started working again.
me: Hmm, hitting things and making them work.. you’re just like the Fonz!
19yo: The who?
me: [breaks down and cries the tears of the old and uncool]

From now on, for my own sanity and self-image, I am saving my pop culture bon mots for people over twenty-five. Rotten kids.

Mourn over London, mourn on Chicago: RIP Wesley Willis

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any sillier: witness the new Game Show Network Production, Who Wants to be Governor of California? “This will be the first political debate in history with buzz-in answers and bonus questions.” I always thought Florida was the undisputed Wacky State, but times are a changin’.

On Wednesday night I happened to flip past the Teen Choice Awards (I was hoping to catch The Donnas’ performance, okay? Even I, Queen of Award Shows, will not stoop to watching anything where “Choice Hottie” is a category.) Anyway, instead of groovy girl rawk I was confronted with some character eating live cockroaches on stage. Ewww! Kids today have no class — everyone knows that eating cockroach a la king is much better. (Don’t forget to soak your cockroaches in lemon juice to remove their bitter waxy exterior! So.. gross..)

So Ahnold has decided to run for Govenor of California, joining fellow candidates Gary Coleman, Larry Flint, Angelyne the billboard lady, and an ex-porn star who wants to put a tax on breast implants. (Now that’s a sin tax! [rimshot]) Seriously, the Daily Show staff must be taking the night off, because the jokes write themselves.

Arnie’s leap into the political arena reminded me of that terribly contravertial article in Premiere Magazine a couple of years ago where he was portrayed as a mean man prone to “boys will be boys” bouts of sexual harassment. An official rebuttal to the piece, sent as a press release through one of Arnold’s charity organizations, basically impugned the reputation of the article’s author, John Connelly. Connelly has had a lawsuit-filled career, in particular due to his article for Spy Magazine on Steven Seagal. However, popular wisdom is that the latter article is quite legitimate, and Seagal is indeed the total doofus many take him for. It doesn’t seem unreasonable that the Premiere piece has its basis in truth, as well.

And, while we’re at it, don’t forget about the heavy-handed cease and desist letter Arnold’s people sent to a couple of local boys back in 2000 over the online distribution of a Japanese commercial of his. I think we can extrapolate which side of the RIAA/P2P debate he supports.

I’m not sure what my point is, except the sudden onslaught of articles reporting that Arnold has the upper-hand in the governor’s race because he’s the Terminator is damned silly. Damned silly. It would be nice if Californian voters were given a little more information about the man’s politics before he’s declared the future winner.

(Why is it that only Republican actors get elected? Reagan, Bono, Eastwood.. Vote Viggo Mortensen for my new boyfriend Presedent!)

I’ve never really tried out “social software” before (sounds a little like something out of Brazil..), but I’m having fun poking around Tribe.net. If you happen to sign up, come join my Las Vegas tribe!

I just finished reading Mr. S, the tell-all Sinatra biography written by his old valet. Usually reading these sorts of books (hello, Kitty Kelly!) makes me think less of the subject, but in this case I think Sinatra came off well — a flawed man, but not a cold tyrant. Anyway, on that subject, here’s some great photos of the Rat Pack at the Sands Hotel, and a really accurate and funny Sinatra-inspired script from the Mr. Show guys.

(If the Rat Pack were around today, would they read Modern Drunkard Magazine?)

Sure, now it’s all about Dolby and THX, but forty years ago it was all about Smell-o-Vision and SenSurround. Maybe Gigli wouldn’t have been such a bomb if the producers had pulled some William Castle-style stunts! (Turkeys descending from the ceiling at key points?)