Today is the first day back at work after a week of blissful vacation. Spirits.. being crushed.. will to go on.. fading…

Further to yesterday’s real estate advice, you simply cannot be seen in front of your new five million dollar apartment without this $10,000 handbag. Jeepers!

Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists. In fact, the entire site for The Annals of Improbable Research is totally brilliant and should be checked out in detail the next time you have a couple of hours to waste.

Are you tired of living amongst the plebs? Can you no longer take having to ride the elevator with the little people each day? I’d recommend buying this condo in the Richard Meier-designed, celeb-strewn Perry Street towers in New York — only 2.5 million! (Includes doorman, security, and impromptu indoor pools.) I took a good look at the floorplan, and was initially confused as to why the kitchen was so tiny. Then it occurred to me: the kind of people who live here don’t cook. In fact, half of them probably don’t even eat.

(Note for future reference: being filthy rich is apparently still no defense against owning an ugly couch.)

Recently I realized a benefit of getting older: I can now start to call people in their early twenties “kid”. Oh, how it rolls off my tongue, whether I’m being patronizing, demeaning, or merely amiable. I do so love it.

Of course, I’m starting to feel like I have to get my digs in at youth whenever possible. Last week I found myself in the depressing position of having to explain what Knight Rider was to a twenty year old. Seriously, what kind of godless generation doesn?t know about Knight Rider? I was almost pleading by the end: ?C?mon! Kit, the talking car who wouldn’t shut up? The best opening music ever? David freakin? Hasselhoff?! Work with me here, kid!?

I can?t even stand to bring up Hawaii 5-0. It’s just too much. (I never thought I’d end up being some kind of cultural ambassador for bad retro television, but here I am. “Gather around, children, while I tell you the tale of the clumsy man who moved in with two beautiful women and had many wacky misunderstandings…”)

I have slowly over the last week crept back towards being interested in politics and current events. I think I kind of overdosed on the constant covereage during the first heady days of the recent Iraq War, and let’s face it: no matter what you believe, the news is full of death and torture and bureaucratic bullshit and it’s pretty miserable stuff. (Yesterday CNN had the top part of their screen filled with stills from that horrible beheading, while the ticker at the bottom reported on an accusation of Boston students being raped and beaten by nuns. Jesus.)

I’ve also become fascinated with the role of the Internet in the war. Vietnam had television, while we’ve got websites and e-mail. They serve as a way for the world to share what might otherwise be censored information, for Iraqi citizens to publish their observations, for soldiers to talk about life on the ground, and, yes, for terrorists to disseminate their violent home movies. There is an unprecendented amount of information out there, much of it with little spin from any interest group. I guess I’ve realized that part of my responsibility as a world citizen is to try and educate myself on what is going on. Read, read, read. Read three, or ten, or twenty different versions of the same thing, and try and distill what you think about it. It’s ugly, and brutal, and stupid, and sometimes it makes me want to run into the street and start shouting (I am indeed amongst the tens of millions of ‘liberals’ who take no joy from being proved right about the terrible loss of life and lack of firm conclusion in the occupation of Iraq), but sometimes all one silly Canadian woman can do in a mess like this is try to understand.

As soon as CBS announced last night that they were doing an online poll to find out which Survivor contestant should get a million dollars, I knew less scrupulous people would find a way to hack into the form and enable multiple votes. So, that being said, click here to vote (again and again and again) for Boston Rob!

The world has been an ugly, ugly place lately, and it only looks to get worse. It’s enough to drive one to drink, which is kind of too bad because Vancouver is suffering from a beer shortage. Eeeek! Won’t someone think of the livers?

Now might be a nice time to break free of Big Beer and try some microbrews, like those from Granville Island, Nelson, and The Official Beer of Pith, Sleemans.

Ryan Adams: still a total tool.

Speaking of musical goobers, could Eminem please stop releasing such freaking catchy songs? Almost everything that comes out of this guy’s mouth in interviews is amazingly offensive, and yet I cannot.. stop.. listening.. to his singles. Argh!