George W. Bush is a robot! (from 2000, but still good)

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

I have less than thirty days left to be in my 20s.

How did it come to this? I can’t be almost 30. My hairdresser said the other day that I have the hair of a 22 year old! Look at my hair, dammit!

Things I can’t do I can’t let people see me do at 30
watch America’s Next Top Model
Stay up all weekend playing Xbox
Be filled with angst
Put odd-coloured streaks in my hair
Snap my gum (but I love popping my gum!)
Have a really nasty credit rating
Think Adam Brody is cute

Things I need now I’m old
Expensive anti-wrinkle creams (now with alpha-hydrobeta essences!)
Some direction in my life
Sturdy sensible shoes
A decent haircut
A collection of comments about how the youth of today are godless heathens
Concern about cholesterol
Acceptance that pop culture doesn’t need me any more

Oddly enough, it’s that last one that hurts the most. I’ve dedicated millions of precious brain cells to reading Entertainment Weekly and following Ben Affleck’s love life and considering Oscar predictions a sport. But now, because I am not young and hip and ever-so precious, pop culture has no use for me anymore. I’ve felt this coming for a while now — pop culture has been getting more and more distant lately, and I heard it was out with Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton last week when it promised it was going to have a nice evening at home with me watching True Hollywood Story.


That’s fine. Fine. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go practice shouting at kids on my lawn.

So I’m reading Atrios, as I’m wont to do, and as I’m reading about some conservative nutcase who wants to kill all Democrats except for the hot women, it slowly dawns on me: that nutcase lives in my town! Atrios linked to our tiny town “newspaper”! Yay?!

I’m thinking the new city motto should be, “Coquitlam: we’re not all barking mad fascists”.

(I love the list of people running for Coquitlam’s school board that Atrios linked to. Most people talk about their educational experience, why they love kids, how important learning is, and then Mr. Nutcase (the last entry on the page) says he’s running because, “it’s time that we put someone on the school board with the courage to stand up to the powerful forces which have sought to subvert our education system”. That’s the kind of warm and fuzzy talk that parents love, Adam!)

I’ve been thinking a lot about the power language and terminology can have over ideology. (I suspect it’s not total coincidence that Noam Chomsky is a social crusader and linguist.) Anyway, I have some deeper thoughts on this that I might write more about in the future (oh, lucky reader!), but in the meantime I saw one new term that I found thought-provoking: people who do not believe women should have the choice of aborting or keeping a fetus are no longer “pro-life”, they are “pro-unborn”. I like this phrase. It seems to keep the gist of their message, but still acknowledges that most “pro-life” folks are also in favour of death — as in capital punishment and war. (Obviously I would prefer “anti-choice” to be the prevailing label, since “pro-unborn” still makes me and my fellow thinkers sound like frothing unholy babykillers, but it’s a step in the right direction.)

So, you want to make your voice heard, but you’re not a revolutionary? Cool!

Just because I get rabid about this kind of stuff doesn’t mean you have to as well. In fact, most people don’t — but their contributions are just as important. Write a letter once a week, and donate money to a good cause once a month (even if it’s only $10, it will be appreciated). Pick one or two brands to boycott, and stick with it. It will take less than a couple of hours a month, and you’ll know you’re participating in global politics.

So, here are some ideas for a letter this week:

If you are Canadian
This weekend Indiana senator Mark Souder said of Canada., “some of the drug policies (and) clearly some of the marriage policies, we have difficulties about” before adding that Canadians “need to think through the consequences” of those decisions, which could (ahem) hinder trade relationships with Canada. This week I’m going to e-mail Pierre Pettigrew, Minister of Foreign Affairs, and let him know that I think we should in no way let the United States dictate our moral values.

If you are American
Arlen Spector has gotten a lot of heat over his interest in making sure any new Supreme Court Justices are not going to pursue a political agenda. Plus, a key to keeping the neo-cons ineffectual until 2006 is to exploit the rift between old and new Republicans. So, this week you could write Mr. Spector and thank him (yes, a positive letter!) for his efforts.

If you are European
Tony Blair is due to be the first foreign leader to meet with George W. Bush post-election. I would recommend e-mailing Mr. Blair and letting him know what issues you think he should discuss with the President.

(There is no intentional slight to any South American, Asian, or Aussie readers — I just don’t know as much as I should about your current political battlegrounds!)

Boycott hate states!
Stop (state) welfare!

Howard Keel, RIP. My family will find this endlessly amusing, but: I sing songs from Kiss Me Kate when no one else is around. Yes, I have problems. (Also, I didn’t know he was the patriarch on Dallas!)

Ha! Someone visited Pith by searching on Google for “four more years of whooping ass“. The first result is a quotation from this site: “four more years of George Bush will be like four more years of syphilis”. The liberal elite are taking over my search engine!

Sorry, Everybody.

Right now I’m researching a list of five companies that people all around the world can join together on a boycott, but in the mean time everyone can assert their concerns about the trend towards global fascism by writing a letter or phoning your local and federal officials. Let them know that you don’t want what happened in the US to happen in your home, and that those values of hatred are not your values. Be polite, but firm. I’ve e-mailed our Prime Minister, my provincial leader, and my local representative, as well as all of the major Canadian newsmedia. Take fifteen minutes and do the same, and then bask in the knowledge that you have taken a step to making a difference.

While you’re at it, don’t forget to drop a line to Australian PM John Howard, Brit PM Tony Blair, Japanese PM Junichiro Koizumi, and Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi to ask if they have the same backwards moral mandate as their big ally Bush. (Oops, did I forget Poland?)

As always, sending e-mail is good, but phone calls and physical letters make a bigger impact. If you are able, please think about sending a “snailmail” follow up to your e-mails. And if you’re not sure what to write, I’ll post my letter here when I get home in a bit. Feel free to ‘liberate’ anything you like from it.

And so it starts. In the last day fiscal conservatives (as opposed to the neo-cons) have been falling all over themselves to show their difference from the religious zealots (or, to flip a term from the LGF gang, “Christofascists”) who voted them into office. Arlen Spector is reassuring the media that it’s “unlikely” Roe v. Wade will be overturned, John McCain is cracking jokes on television about how the low youth voter turnout will result in a draft (ha bloody ha, John), and on the Daily Show last night Bill Kristol, editor of the Weekly Standard and frequent Fox News talking head, was anxious to point out that only 1 in every 5 voters said moral values was the motivation for their vote. This is pretty much as we could expect — the real power brokers of the Republican party woke up on November 3 in bed with the Christofasicsts, and they’re trying to make the rest of the country forget they were ever so desperately beholden to their votes. Obviously, you can’t let that happen.

However, it brings up a good point: there is a very well documented rift between the fiscal and social conservatives. People like new senators Jim DeMint, who believes that single mothers should not be allowed to teach children, and Tom Coburn, who wants to give doctors that perform abortions the death penalty, make moderates like McCain and Spector mighty ancy. This is your wedge, people. Make these folks sorry they ever aligned themselves with wackos and wingnuts. Fortunately, this is easy, since all fiscal republicans speak the language of money. Liquidate your mutual funds and buy gold. Refuse to pay your federal income tax. Only do business with blue states. Use your wallet and your taxes to tell the moderate Republicans that you won’t forget, and you won’t forgive.

Ah, Cincinnati, swing city, and one of the few urban areas to go Red. I suppose that’s not too surprising for a city that prosecuted an art exhibit of Robert Mapplethorpe photos, while the KKK gets to put up Christmas decorations in town square. Yep, that’s real nice.