I still haven’t really forgiven Tim Burton for that whole horrid Planet of the Apes fiasco, but these photos from his remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory look promising. Don’t toy with my emotions again, Burton.

(Note that the lovely and talented Johnny Depp manages to act better in two still photos than the entire combined film careers of Keanu, Affleck, and Tom Cruise.)

Keep icky Sean Hannity out of your house for good with the FOXBlocker. I’m not sure how truly functional this is, but with every purchase they will “send an e-mail in your name to the TOP 10 advertisers at FOX News letting them know that yet another subscriber has opted out” which is in the right spirit at least.

VIP Fibers will turn your pet’s hair into a sweater! Perfect for people who really love their dog, insane cat ladies, and as a cruel gag gift for someone with pet allergies.

Quiddity has a whole day of zombie links, including an inside scoop on Romero’s latest, Land of the Dead. Why couldn’t he have filmed the movie in Vancouver instead of stupid Toronto? I want to be a Romero zombie, dammit.

Also, having watched Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town this weekend (I was a little hung over, okay?), I feel the need to remind burgeoning filmmakers out there that pairing footage of hideous zombie armies with a slide-whistle soundtrack is comic gold.

Pierre Berton, RIP. He was a great historian, a great writer, and a great Canadian.

(Confidential to J: I didn’t see you on the news yesterday covered in custard and being beaten by Secret Service agents. Ha! What’s the word on the street from the protests in Halifax?)

“I wish I had a pod in my apartment because nothing helps me as much as the pod.”

Okay, so she’s talking about MetroNaps — a hip new way to nap for those always on the go (hahahah) — and not a Phillip K Dick book. But still, if I ran that company I would totally make my slogan, “Metronaps: Our pods are for napping in, not replacing you with an identical emotionless alien.” (This is why I don’t work in marketing.)

Did y’all see Amazing Race this week? They had to go to the world’s largest Ikea (in Sweden, duh), and put furniture together as a challenge. Swoon! I didn’t say a word, but Mr. Pith turned to me and said in a firm voice, “We’re not moving to Sweden!”

(While I’m on the boob tube kick, last night’s episode of Lost was totally spooky and completely awesome. Is it next Wednesday yet?)