Sooooo, my company eliminated my position. I have been downsized, laid off, sent packing. I suppose documentation becomes less of an issue in trying economic times and when your industry is doing things like showing up at the dock with a whale impaled on the front of the ship.

I tried to keep a diary of my first 24 hours of unemployment, although the whole thing can pretty much be summed up with two entries:

3:05pm Cracking a beer, sitting in the sun in the living room. This unemployment thing isn’t that bad, really.

5:45pm Two beers later. Watching The House Bunny, featuring Anna Farris as a Playboy bunny who is just misunderstood. Oh god, what am I doing with my life. I need a job.

I have also been eating a lot of casserole. Oh, and thinking about stuff I bought in the last two weeks. For example, upon reflection had I known I was going to be laid off I probably wouldn’t have spent $15 on an eyebrow brush. God damn it, Sephora, you know I can’t control myself. I do have very tidy eyebrows now though. And really, don’t you think it’s important not to descend into incivility in trying times like these? I’m pretty sure eyebrow brushes are what separates us from the apes.

Anyway, a list of things I can do now I’m unemployed:

• Find a nice tech writing or online community manager job, of course.
• Go back to school! I just paid off all my student loans, let’s go back into debt!
• Become a professional game show contestant. I watched a lot of Family Feud yesterday, and the people on that show are idiots.
• Write more.
• Go for a walk every day.
• NOT drink more beer and play more WoW.
• Explore the exciting world of weird Craigslist contract writing gigs.
• Move to South America and start a new life on a beach. I suspect South America would be too hot for me, and have too many bugs, but it seems like the kind of thing one should have on a list like this.

Anyway, I am feeling upbeat. Change is good, right? Right.

Twttrpoop – “Are more people talking about their bowel movements than your company or personal brand?”

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